Imagine an employee whose energy slowly fades. They were once the life of every meeting — speaking up, offering ideas, asking questions, flagging risks early.
Over time, their updates become shorter. They stop challenging assumptions. Contributions turn into careful nods.
Nothing is formally wrong. Targets are still met. Deadlines are tracked.
So, what went missing?
Somewhere between team meetings, checklists, dashboards, and deadlines, empathy quietly left the room. Not because leaders pushed it away — but because they got busy. Empathy slowly shifted from something expected in everyday leadership to something discussed in workshops, labelled a “soft skill,” and practiced only when time allowed.
Most leaders don’t recognize this shift until it’s too late. And when they do, they rarely see it as a failure of empathy. They call it professionalism. Organizational change. Business Maturity.
Empathy doesn’t disappear overnight. It fades through a series of misunderstandings – some of the key myths about empathy are - empathy is inappropriate at work, it can be emotionally taxing, it weakens authority, slows decisions, or distracts from performance.
Yet leaders like Satya Nadella at Microsoft challenged this assumption. He once said, “If you have empathy for your people, they will do their best work and you'll make progress."
At Microsoft, he replaced the “know-it-all” culture with a “learn-it-all” one. He showed that empathy is not about lowering standards — it’s about creating the conditions where people speak up early, learn faster, and take ownership.
When leaders lead without empathy, the effects don’t show up at once. They show up slowly, in costly ways. In these situations, people stop feeling connected to their work and to the organization, and some eventually choose to leave—not because the job is hard, but because it no longer feels human. Each departure brings the visible cost of hiring and training, and the invisible cost of lost experience and trust.
Those who stay often do less than they could. Energy drops. Ideas dry up. People focus on getting through the day rather than doing their best work. Over time, this quiet disengagement affects results. Quality slips. Problems surface later than they should. Performance suffers—not from a lack of capability, but from a lack of care. What looks like a business issue is often the outcome of leadership that forgets to pay attention to people.
According to an EY US study 86% employees believe empathetic leadership improves morale, and 87% say it is essential for creating an inclusive work environment. Yet the same study revealed a contrast: more than 52% of employees feel their organization’s attempts at empathy are inauthentic.
This gap highlights a critical truth about leadership. Empathy is highly valued but hardly practiced. It is often advertised through vision or mission statements, big budget wellness initiatives, while these can be useful to an extent; employees judge it through everyday interactions with their leaders.
This makes us think, what does empathetic leadership really look like?
1. They Listen to Understand — Not to Respond
Empathetic leaders practice active listening as a habit. They check in regularly on their teams, attempt to ask open-ended questions, and resist the urge to interrupt. Research shows that when leaders listen, employee satisfaction and engagement rise significantly — not because problems disappear, but because people feel safe raising them early.
Listening also means letting go of judgment. When leaders stay curious and do not jump to conclusions, they make space for various perspectives.
2. They Try to See the Situation Through Others’ Eyes
One of the most common notions about empathy is that one needs to agree with the other individual to empathize, but that is untrue. Being empathetic as a leader just means attempting to walk in someone else’s shoes and listening to their perspective, even if you have a different experience or viewpoint. Perspective-taking allows leaders to make inclusive decisions, and the plus side is, the team feels their view matters which enhances the decision quality and speed. People support what they feel part of.
3. They Respond with Genuine Concern
Empathetic leaders respond in ways that show care — through words or actions. This might mean understanding when someone is facing personal challenges, offering support when needed or even adjusting expectations when situations are dynamic. Genuine concern is about recognizing that teams perform better when they feel valued as people, not resources.
4. They Handle Feedback or Conflict with Respect
Empathetic leaders do not fear difficult conversations; they manage them differently. Feedback is always focused on areas of improvement and not blame. They understand that conflict is inevitable. They approach every conflict with fairness.
5. They Build Relationships, Not Just Results
Empathetic leaders take an interest in people outside of their tasks and targets. They celebrate small wins, recognize contributions, and make time for conversations that are not transactional.
These behaviors may seem negligible but overtime they encourage the culture of psychological safety.
Leadership transitions at companies like Disney have shown how lack of empathy can erode trust at the highest levels. Similarly, public reactions to large-scale layoffs, like Google’s in 2023, revealed how leadership decisions made without empathy can damage credibility — even when the business rationale is sound.
What do these situations have in common? Leadership is under unprecedented pressure.
Smooth roads require little intervention or empathy. It is when the road hits bumps that a leader’s empathy is truly tested. Moments like Covid-19 – which now seems like a part of history – it put leaders under sustained pressure; they were often left in confusion without clear guidelines or direction.
Leaders were forced to make difficult decisions – be it layoffs, health and safety concerns, etc. Leaders even had to deal with new forms of conflict, mostly driven by uncertainty and fear within teams. This is where no leadership playbook worked, because no two days looked alike.
In these cases, empathy is never a luxury but a necessity. One of the leaders who truly stood out under pressure during COVID-19 was Jacinda Ardern. What set her apart from the other leaders dealing with the same crisis? She made hard decisions with human understanding.
First, she acknowledged fear before giving direction. In her public briefings, Ardern consistently named what people were feeling — anxiety, uncertainty, fatigue — before explaining restrictions or policies. This simple act mattered. People felt seen not controlled. She did not claim the situation was comfortable, but validated emotions.
Second, she communicated with clarity and compassion. She used simple language and explained the “why” behind decisions. She did not issue the restrictions from afar. She made following the rules collective responsibility, for everyone’s safety. In her case, empathy made compliance to rules stronger.
Third, she made herself emotionally available as a leader. Ardern showed emotion publicly — grief after loss of life, concern during long periods of lockdown. This didn’t weaken her authority. It reinforced trust.
Fourth, she held space for disagreement. Even when the protests and anger grew, Ardern resisted being defensive. She differentiated between opposing ideas and attacking people. This was empathy under pressure — staying regulated while leading through polarization.
Ardern showed that empathetic leadership during crisis or under immense pressure is not about softness. It is about taking responsibility for both outcomes and people.
Now that we have explored what empathetic leaders do, it’s important to focus on how empathy can be built through everyday habits. Empathy does not begin with large programs or expensive initiatives. It starts with personal commitment.
Leaders need to walk the talk. That means modelling the kind of interactions they want to see. Slowing down conversations. Asking meaningful questions. Taking a moment to understand before sharing their own point of view. These small choices signal respect and presence.
Empathy also grows when leaders learn to pause instead of reacting instinctively. This involves identifying the emotional context — whether someone is struggling, disengaged, or energized and responding thoughtfully.
To do this well, leaders must be self-aware to first manage their own emotions. Staying calm and balanced helps them remain focused on the other person, rather than becoming defensive.
It also helps when leaders say their intentions out loud. When leaders openly share that they are working on becoming more present and listen better, they invite accountability.
Small adjustments to daily routines — such as designing meetings that appreciate different thinking styles, creating safer ways for feedback to flow — reinforce this commitment.
Slowly, these habits shape team and organizational expectations. Empathy becomes part of how work happens, not something to consciously add. It stops feeling inauthentic or exhausting and becomes a practical leadership skill that strengthens relationships.
In today’s dynamic world, leadership is often personified with business outcomes, execution, adaptability to change and speed. These buzzwords make it sound like Empathy is not linked to team or business performance, but the reality is quite the opposite! Empathy ensures performance lasts.
To conclude, empathy does not expect leaders to become softer or let go of their authority, but it makes them more intentional of their actions. Once practiced consistently and wisely, empathy not only becomes the way of leadership, but the way people and organizations thrive.
So what commitment are you willing to make? Starting with your next conversation?
Five common myths about empathy
EI Edge: The 7 Habits of Empathetic Leaders - Steve Gutzler
https://mariaross.com/3-ways-you-can-make-empathy-a-habit/
